I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
Randomize
