No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
Randomize
