It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
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