He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
I wish I had my own personal Asian lady that lived under my bed so that she could wax my eyebrows and give me a pedicure whenever I wanted.
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
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