he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
I just woke up to a ten minute voicemail of you sobbing about the X-Men. Stop getting drunk and watching Marvel movies.
BUT WOLVERINE IS SO TORMENTED AND JUST WANTS TO BE LOVED
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
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