There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
Randomize
