Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
Randomize
