I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
Randomize
