I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
Just woke up to Siri reminding me that i need to kill the giant orange spider in my room, because it's sorcery and witchcraft is sacrilegious. Did you give me LSD again!?!??!
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
Randomize
