dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
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