i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
just come out here and I will go home with you...
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
