i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize