he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
Just spent 15 minutes trying to save the life of a fruit fly that dive-bombed my coffee. I figured it doesn't make sense to let two souls die in this place...
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
My penis needs a shock collar
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
Randomize
