So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
please come you make the beer taste better
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
Randomize
