Umm I'm too high to move.
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
So it took me 20 minutes to figure out that this is the wrong blind date. I'm going to go with it, he's cute and at least it's free beer.
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
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