WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
Randomize
