So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
So I just walked into the bathroom, and there was this kid, talking to his mom, while taking a shit. I flushed the toilet next to him and heard him say into the phone, "No, I'm not. I'm in my dorm."
Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
Randomize
