dude I went to cubs game with my mustache, aviators, and a hooded sweatshirt. Do you think it was irony or fate that there were four 17 year old girls in front of us?
"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
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