I wish I only lived at night.
I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
It's official drugs can't kill me
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
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