Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
just accidentally masturbated with tiger balm. best. accident. ever.
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
i went to go through my sent box of drunk texts from last night and they were all deleted... i'm going to assume drunk me made the executive decision that sober me would be better off not knowing what they said
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
Randomize
