Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
I party with great urgency now.
Randomize