They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
Turns out the bartender I fucked is the bar owner. WHY THE FUCK DO I PAY FOR HALF MY DRINKS? IS SEX NOT TIP ENOUGH?
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
I need to align my fucking chakras
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
Randomize
