when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
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