yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
I'm sooo using this pickup line: "Baby, its not the 2.5 inches... Its the 200 pounds behind it"
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
I see more hoeing in ur future
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