Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
you will always have a special place in my vag
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
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