At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
Randomize
