I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
Randomize
