she sounds like chewbacca in bed
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
Randomize
