i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
Today's walk of shame includes last nights hair and make up, an 8 hour shift, me leading a meeting and me throwing up in a parking lot on my way to work. Dear world, you're welcome.
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
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