I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
You offered him a “Sorry I Blew Your Brother” Blowjob. How does that make it right?
I promised him it would be better than the one I gave his brother which is really nice of me since their actually only half brothers and his brother is cuter
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