Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
Just remembered throwing your phone at your face in a half-drunk stupor the other morning when your alarm went off. Thought I should apologize.
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
Randomize
