Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
Randomize
