i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
So the doctor told me that I am starting to showing the early signs of liver cirrhosis. Thank you Jack Daniels for making the first 26 years of my life awesome.
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
Randomize
