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I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Randomize
