You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
Just woke up to find that I'd left a stove burner on for the past 6 hours or so. I'm now banned from Ambien cooking.
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
My vagina just clenched in fear
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
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