Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Randomize
