Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
the highlight of my day was when my dad called me when I was watching porn and I muted it instead of pausing it.
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
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