So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
Sometimes I forget to take my socks off when I masturbate. This always makes me feel like I'm accidentally in a porn.
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
Randomize
