I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
Randomize
