is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
I knew you were super hungover. But so hungover you fire our house cleaner because her vacuums too loud is excessive
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
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