Did you ever notice that cashews look like fetuses?
come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
I just got hit by a car and apologized to the driver. I asked him if he was okay.
your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
Randomize
