just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
Randomize
