Having a random hookup so left but love u
Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
The moment when you and your BFF compare frequently used emojis and realize you have similar mental disorders and a really weak alibi.
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
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