We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
he said he wanted to butter my pancake. i thought it was sexual, but he went downstairs and made pancakes. i need to stop dating fat guys.
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
Randomize
