your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
Randomize
