you said youd get me home safely, you dropped me off at 9:30 last night and i just woke up on my porch.
You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
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