I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
In other news, I just sent her a video of me masturbating while driving in the rain, so I guess you could say I've mastered Snapchat
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
Randomize
