Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
My day in three words: secret purse cake
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
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