woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
Randomize
