I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
Randomize
