Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
I've taken a shot every five minutes for the past twenty. His valentines cupcakes are going to be a fucking delicious vodka induced mess. Thinking about putting vodka in this next batch. I'm the best girlfriend.
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
Randomize
