Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
Dude, she set my Tinder preference to men, set the radius to 100 miles, and used up all of my right swipes. I think she's mad.
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
Randomize
