god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
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