ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
Randomize
