When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
I want you to know I am at work super hungover and I threw up in the mop sink. I feel like you will appreciate this
You're my fucking hero
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