What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
FYI, your girlfriend is on her way to the ER. She tried to balance a bottle of jack on her chest. Smashed toes, blood all over patio. Call her, kinda funny though.
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
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