I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
I just got a nosebleed on a date at the cheesecake factory...
just run out of the bathroom with blood gushing down your face and scream "ITS IN THE CHEESECAKE!!!!!"
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
Trying to figure out these fractions. I bought 5 fifths of gin last week. Does that mean I have one whole gin? 5/5 = 1, right? You're having to homeschool your kids right now--so ask them.
Randomize
