i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
So, I woke up to an empty bottle of scotch and a dead car. The last thing I remember are the strippers being mad at me. Awesome night.
Feels good to be wearing underwear again though...
Its about making memories worth repressing
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
Randomize
