That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Randomize
