you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
Randomize
