Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
I have two black x marks on my hands.
Yep you got cut off last night after a stripper bent over in front of you and you screamed very loudly 'I can see your soul from here'
damnit I wish I could remember that.
remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
Upon further investigation it turns out it wasn't blood, but chocolate frosting from the cupcake I shoved in my pocket to "save for later"
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
Randomize
