nut hugger
I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
Are you serious?! She sent a pizza instead of showing up?!
She did indeed. Papa Johns. It helped because I was super hangry. That bitch is smart!
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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