goodnight i made you a song goodbye
she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
During breaking dawn, he leaned over and asked me why she would have to worry about her period since she essentially just married a walking super-absorbant tampon... It was the best way to ruin those movies for me.
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
Randomize