But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
I don’t know whether to call out sick or call in drunk
Randomize
