wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
I just slammed another champagne, swaggered over to her, pointed across the room at the 20 y/o lacrosse player and whispered loudly, "I brought that one for YOU." I'm getting a raise.
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
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