Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
Randomize
