Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
Randomize
